If this gets 500 reblogs I’ll go and get help to recover.
I don’t want to at all, in fact I pray everyday that I’ll get the willpower to get worse.
But if enough people care even a little bit then I’ll go physically get help and maybe I’ll be around longer.
The question of what “want” means is really brought into sharp relief from this. Obviously, you have conflicting desires.
I put it to you that the only way to win is to get those conflicting desires sorted out so you are choosing between them yourself, rather than letting them war over you. To do this, you will likely need to “get help”; then you can confront things as what they are, rather than as a bundle of misaligned and conflicting impulses. At that point, if you want to “get worse”, you will know exactly what you want and why and not need to wait on willpower. And if you don’t, well, problem solved.



